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2018 Black Friday sales in WooCommerce

Epic Life Quest Task: Sold $500K in our Black Friday Sale.

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In 2013, mostly just for laughs, I ran a Black Friday sale on BrentOzar.com. It did way better than I’d expected – turns out a lot of y’all love Black Friday shopping as much as I do – so I gradually put more work into it over time.

Black Friday 2018 sales

Woohoo, WooCommerce!

Here’s how it did over the years:

  • 2013: $52,780
  • 2014: $84,577
  • 2015: $167,728
  • 2016: $181,457
  • 2017: $439,550 – a great jump upwards that I was really happy with, but ever-so-slightly disappointed because I’d set an Epic Life Quest task goal of $500K. That goal seemed bonkers, but I put a ton of prep work in.
  • 2018: $514,033

I wrote about this year’s prep work, and now it’s time to look back to see what worked out well, what didn’t, and what changes I’m making based on what I learned.

A long sale helped, but accepting checks/POs/invoices didn’t.

Last year, we did a quantity-limited sale: the first X seats in each class were discounted. That drove a lot of sales in early, and then a separate small burst of sales on Black Friday itself. The dark line here is revenue:

Black Friday sales revenue 2017 (dark line is $)

Black Friday sales revenue 2017 (dark line is $)

But last year, we had (what seemed like) a lot of requests from DBAs at large shops who couldn’t get their purchasing departments to move quickly enough to act on a Black Friday sale. This year, we ran the same sale all month long to make it easier for them, and we even accepted check & wire payments.

This year, the sales were distributed through the month – and ended up peaking on the last day instead of the first!

2018 Black Friday sales in WooCommerce

2018 sales

Other than the last day panic, the peaks roughly align with targeted email campaigns to remind different segments of folks about the sale. So which one’s better, quantity-limited or all-month-long? I’m not sure yet, gotta think about that one and analyze the data.

We definitely got more sales from big shops – the team memberships paid off really well – but >99% of orders still came in via credit card, not check/invoice/PO. Even people who bought the big Team Memberships paid via card. With that in mind, I don’t think we’d hassle with check/invoice/PO payments again.

We did get a handful of last-minute, November 30th questions from people saying, “Hey, we just heard about the sale, and we want to pay via invoice/check/PO.” I can only hold the sale open so long, hahaha.

Bundles outsold the heck out of single products.

The Season Passes still dominate sales: the Live Class Season Pass was far and away the top seller with about $230K sold, and the re-added Recorded Class Season Pass was #2 with about $100K sold. (SQL Constant Care sold about $50K, but that blurs the lines a little – it’s a combination of the SaaS mentoring and recorded videos.)

The new Team Membership sold to a few companies, which I’d call a huge success because the price of entry was fairly high, and it wasn’t announced ahead of time. It’s hard for most companies to suddenly whip out the company card and ring up a $10K-$20K charge.

In fact, so many bundles sold (and so few guest instructor classes sold) that it made me step back and rethink my business plan for 2019. We’re going to simplify the site down, make it easier for people to choose between 3 things:

  • An individual class (live or recorded)
  • A season pass (live or recorded)
  • A team membership

To do that, and to keep the accounting simple, we’re going to stop selling guest instructor classes. I love our guest instructors, and I loved their material – but I gotta pick my battles. I’m already stretched too thin trying to do my own training classes, build SQL ConstantCare®, and do consulting, so I had to make some tough choices. We’ll keep selling the existing class dates, but we won’t add new ones.

Europeans are determined to buy our stuff.

I announced last year that we were stopping selling stuff to the EU/EEA for now, and we put steps in to make sure EU/EEA customers couldn’t check out. Holy cow, though, they were determined to work around it: fake addresses, VPNs to other areas, trying to pay via wire transfer, you name it. It still wasn’t a financially significant amount, but it generated a lot of work for Erika, who had to refund these customers and explain that yes, we were serious about this.

I sure wish they paid more attention to their governments first – for example, they need to be aware of the train wreck that is the upcoming EU copyright directive. What an incredible hot mess.

So why don’t we just give in? Because it’s a relatively low portion of our revenue, the risks are really high, and I don’t have enough confidence in all of our third party partners yet. For example, I have zero faith in GoToWebinar’s ability to handle the right to be forgotten. From any given webinar invite you get, try figuring out how to request them to show you what data they hold on you, and ask for the right to be erased. It’s terrible, and it’s no easier from the webinar hosting side (they keep all data for 365 days, long after you really need it, and you can’t even ask NOT to see that data.) Their GDPR compliance page has a really hand-wavy answer, too:

“contact Support for assistance”

For 2019, I’m going to start switching away from third party partners who don’t make it delightfully easy for customers to comply with the GDPR. I can’t promise anything yet, but I’d like to be in a position where we can open up EU/EEA sales for the next Black Friday. (Plus, I just want to ease Erika’s workload, hahaha.)

Google Pay & Apple Pay wasn’t quite smooth enough.

When people buy our live classes, a decent chunk of ’em buy for someone else – like big company training departments buying classes for their staff members. To facilitate that, we have a student name/email form on the class so you can put someone else in instead:

WooCommerce product page with Google Pay enabled

See the big dark “Buy now” button? That’s because I’m browsing with Google Chrome – it’s Google Pay. It’s easier to use – payment is integrated into the browser – but it has a dark side: it bypasses the required student name/email fields on the form.

Managers often bought for their employees, and you can guess how it went: they’d get so attracted to the “Buy now” button that they wouldn’t fill out the student name/email. Then, they would email us and say, “This class is for so-and-so, please enroll them instead.” That was more work for Erika. The related Github issue for the Stripe extension was closed back in 2017 with WooCommerce telling folks to hire their own developers. (Fair.)

It generated enough extra work that I ended up disabling Google Pay & Apple Pay, so now the form looks a lot cleaner, and we don’t have to worry about that:

WooCommerce product page without Google Pay

I have a running list of things I’d like to get improved in WooCommerce and a couple of plugins, and 2019 is going to be the year that I sponsor a developer to get some of these things coded.

The learning curve for team setups was terrible.

I added team purchasing at the last minute, almost on a whim, and holy cow, did Erika and I pay the price all month. When team purchases went well, they went flawlessly – but when they went wrong, they went really wrong, taking hours of customer handholding and database changes.

Example: someone would buy a team membership for 3 people, think that their payment hadn’t gone through for some reason, then buy another team membership for 3 people, and then cancel the second subscription when they realized the first one had gone through. The teams plugin would look at their account, see that their most recent team subscription had been canceled – and not allow any of their teams to work.

I’ll put together a list of what we learned and share that with the authors of the teams plugins, and hopefully they’ll improve the functionality for other WooCommerce users over time. Ideally before next Black Friday, hahaha.

Now, what do we do for next year?

First, I don’t wanna raise the goal beyond $500K. I’d be happy enough (ecstatic, really) if we hit that goal two years in a row. I need to keep building on what I know, learning from others, and running experiments. Some of those experiments are gonna fail, and temporary setbacks are okay.

Second, I’ve already got a vacation planned with Erika – we’re going on a cruise for the first half of November, and then an onsite client engagement. That means I either have to do a “real” Black Friday/Cyber Monday sale, confined to those dates, or else I have to make sure the sale doesn’t need my involvement. (That could mean outsourcing the store management, or training/empowering other people on our team to do it.)

My gut hunch right now is that we switch to a “real” Black Friday sale:

  • Contract a PHP/MySQL developer to do a round of performance tuning fixes
  • Contract the plugin development companies to make some improvements specific to our sales processes
  • Switch webcasts from GoToWebinar (where I don’t trust their GDPR handling) over to a more GDPR-savvy webcast company
  • Enable sales to the EU/EEA again (not just for the added revenue, but also to cut down on the human intervention required)
  • Migrate the site from WPengine to our own cloud hosting so we can temporarily scale up/down more easily in preparation for the big sales days
  • Do a round of user experience tests, checking out as a customer, signing up their team members, etc, looking for problems that will pop up on Black Friday

That’s a non-trivial amount of work – but hey, it’s a non-trivial amount of sales income. It just comes down to figuring out how much to invest, and when.

But for now, a week in Vegas at SQLintersection, celebrating at é by José Andrés, and then off to Cabo with Erika for some rest and relaxation (which will check off another Epic Life Quest task: taking 2 weeks off with her each year for 5 straight years.)

Also, tequila. A lot of tequila.

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My #PASSsummit 2018 Session Evaluation Ratings & Comments

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After big conferences, I like to share my session evaluations to talk about what worked and what didn’t. Let’s see how we did this year.

Pre-Con: Performance Tuning in 21 Demos

This was an all-day session that Erik Darling and I co-presented. When Erik and I designed this session, we were both at a point in our presentation-writing style where we were madly in love with demos. All week long when working with clients, we have to spend a lot of time in slides, explaining concepts that we see out in the wild all the time. (I give my talk on parameter sniffing at least three times per month.) So we thought, “What if we do nothing but demos? What if we just show off our favorite behaviors in SSMS, and…nothing else?”

It was risky because we weren’t really taking you from point A to point B, unraveling a concept all day long and going deeper and deeper into it. We just picked some of our favorite demos of all time, wrote several new ones, and tried to put them in some kind of order that made sense.

We had 273 attendees, 72 surveys filled out:

  • Rate the value of the session content. 4.74 out of 5
  • How useful and relevant is the session content to your job/career? 4.71
  • How well did the session’s track, audience, title, abstract, and level align with what was presented? 4.79
  • Rate the speaker’s knowledge of the subject matter. 4.96
  • Rate the overall presentation and delivery of the session content. 4.81
  • Rate the balance of educational content versus that of sales, marketing, and promotional subject matter. 4.79

Woohoo! I’m really happy with the feedback numbers – they’re much better than last year’s ratings – and ecstatic with the sales numbers. We were up against great lineup including Bob Ward, Kimberly Tripp, and Pinal Dave, and we were the top-selling spot. That completely blew me away. (I thought managers would be more likely to send their staff to more conventional sessions that took you from point A to point B.)

Let’s see what people wrote in the comments – and I’m not going to show every comment, just representative samples:

Event logistics comment highlights: (room temperature, size, capacity, sound, etc.):

  • Room size was perfect, temperature was good. Unfortunately the sound was a bit faint – could not always make out what the presenter was saying.
  • I had a hard time hearing the speakers. They were loud enough but there was distortion.
  • comfortable room. Audio and video were perfect
  • Would be nice to have some healthy snacks around (fruit and nuts) and also some charging stations.
  • Perfect event logistics for this session.
  • Chilly

Overall, I’m happy – it’s hard to make 273 people happy all day in a room. PASS did great. For a feel for what that room size is like:

Content & delivery comment highlights:

  • Both Brent and Erik were able to maintain the audience attention
  • This was a very useful and interesting session. The material is so well documented and organized, it is very easy to step through and to work with after I leave the Summit. I appreciated the amount of material provided and the Q & A being open to the audience so we can all learn from each others situations. The day went by so quickly. It was a good mix of fun and serious subject matter that will definitely help me address concerns back at work as well as help me be a better developer and troubleshooter.
  • Brent and Erik possess a wealth of knowledge on the principles and underhood mechanisms of SQL Server. The way they share the knowledge is bright and easy to understand. I wish this particular session was focused on tips and tricks a bit more, and a bit less on the internal concepts.
  • Great organization, knowledge and pace. Was able to accommodate all questions and kept people engaged with a fun and interactive experience.
  • I wish everyone could be as good as Brent. Not necessarily the same, just as good. Erik isn’t as wild, but both were engaging to watch. Forget about slides, everything is hands on, solving a real problem. My brain was full but alert after a whole day, and you bet I will be studying the demo scripts on my own. First rate!
  • The only downside to this pre-con is that if you follow the blog, many of these scenarios were already covered. I would still recommend it for a newer DBA or one who wasn’t familiar with Brent and his team. As always, they are great presenters.
  • Love the energy of the duo on stage. Their passion is shared to the public.
  • Discovered Brent Ozar Unlimited a couple months ago. So glad to have a chance to learn from them in person. Learned a lot and certainly continue follow them on-line.

I’m really, really happy with these comments compared to last year’s. Last year, we tried cramming way too much stuff into a single day. This year, we took the time to dive deeper into specific demos, and at the end of the day, we allocated a lot more time for questions. It paid off – we didn’t get the comments this year saying that we were rushed.

Slack Q&A comment highlights:

  • Very entertaining and educational. I enjoyed the interaction via Slack with the polls. I really learned a lot and appreciate Brent and Erik sharing the knowledge with the community.
  • Loved it! Really enjoyed the content as well as the Slack channel to ask questions and interactive polling – great idea for a large room!
  • Brent and Erik are always entertaining. I loved the use of Slack to take and answer questions during the session. I’m also excited about the year of ConstantCare that was included!
  • Great session. Very valuable. Always love the mix of technical with humor. I like the use of the slack channel for asking questions and comments. Very interactive. I appreciate the addition of a video training code that allows me to train more once back at work.

I’m so totally sold on using Slack for interactivity in big rooms for all-day sessions. I don’t think it makes sense for 75-minute sessions because it’s too hard to get attendees into Slack and into the right room, but they’re clearly willing to make that time investment for a pre-con, and it pays off.

General Session: Getting Better Query Plans by Improving SQL’s Estimates

This was my regular 75-minute session during the conference itself. You can see an earlier version of it at GroupBy. The basic demo idea was the same, but I’d added SQL Server 2019 in as well, and tweaked a lot about the flow. I had 653 attendees, 169 surveys filled out:

  • Rate the value of the session content. 4.80 out of 5
  • How useful and relevant is the session content to your job/career? 4.75
  • How well did the session’s track, audience, title, abstract, and level align with what was presented? 4.79
  • Rate the speaker’s knowledge of the subject matter. 4.96
  • Rate the overall presentation and delivery of the session content. 4.88
  • Rate the balance of educational content versus that of sales, marketing, and promotional subject matter. 4.85

Well, alrighty then. With numbers that good, especially across 169 folks, I’m not sure I even wanna read the comments, but let’s do it:

Event logistics comment highlights: (room temperature, size, capacity, sound, etc.):

  • Not a stable beamer, was wobbly constantly (Brent says: one of the two projectors in the room was vibrating the whole time)
  • Shaky projector, otherwise all good
  • Too warm. Turn up the AC.
  • very cold rooms, very aggressive air-con
  • WiFi connection was terrible
  • Great
  • Excellent
  • Packed room but that is expected with someone like Brent Ozar speaking.
  • Good but seating gets very tight in popular sessions – seats are too close together.

Yep, pack 653 folks in a room, and it’s gonna be tough to make the room work for everybody. I’m mostly sharing the comments here just to explain that people can be unhappy with the room and still end up leaving good scores for the presenter. It’s your job as a presenter to outshine room problems.

Content comment highlights:

  • As usual, Brent was excellent. The session had a great pace and was very upbeat. The session was helpful for beginners as well as seasoned professionals.
  • Speaker really knew his stuff. Was able to make it light and seem familiar and intuitive. Giving me the confidence to go and try various pieces at my own workplace. Very funny and great content.
  • Excellent teacher for sure. Wish he had included some more complicated example queries though.
  • Would like to see more in depth information presented. More scenarios and diving deeper…maybe more sessions to accomplish this. But always great to attend your sessions.

It’s called a pre-con. You should check it out. 😉

Question handling comments:

  • Brent got stuck maybe a little too long on a couple of questions from the audience about cardinality estimator Changes without it actually leading any further in the presentation. Apart from that: Excellent delivery of excellent content.
  • Great as per usual, i always try to make it to a Brent session at PASS. I think you pushed through some of it just a hair too quickly that made it harder to follow but did a great job answering all the audience questions throughout
  • Pros – Very knowledgeable. Great info. Entertaining!
    Cons – I felt that he jumped around a bit too much, esp at the end. Maybe limit the Q&A part to the last 15 min, instead of 30-45 min…

The question handling is really interesting to me on this one because people so rarely ask questions in a 600+ person room. When I started getting questions, I got so excited at the opportunity, so I went down a bunch of rabbit holes. (They were really good questions!) Given the high scores on the session, I’m kinda okay with this though. I think I was still able to cover what I wanted.

Humor comments:

I’m only picking maybe 1/4 of the comments – by far and away, the vast majority of the comments were about the delivery – but here goes:

  • Charismatic speaker, but maybe tone it down a bit. Some of the jokes were edging towards being offensive. The clever consultant versus big bad Microsoft schtick gets old quickly.
  • Brent was hilarious as usual, and also informative. He makes learning boring topics interesting and his depth of knowledge is extraordinary.
  • Great energy and content, thank you!
  • Brent was excellent. Funny and engaging with tons of useful info.
  • The ‘Robin Williams’ shtick gets old
  • Brent is awesome as always! With great sense of humor! Making this talk lively and not boring!
  • Brent has an exceptional ability in using humor to keep us engaged through technical material.
  • Most fun and exciting and unboring worthy content in a short time
  • Excellent presentation. Love Brent’s sense of humor. I watch him speaker for how to be a better speaker as well as the SQL knowledge.
  • Excellent pace especially for a session after lunch 🙂 Brent is a very engaging speaker, I was not bored at all even if I already know a good amount of the subject.
  • Loved the talk. Brent has an amazing sense of humor and the unique ability to talk some of the most dry topics on the planet and make them interesting.
  • Your style define the passion for what you do, everyone should express more than you in expression level. Thanks for sharing all you knowledge.
  • So far my favorite presenter of the whole summit. He was extremely knowledgeable and very witty and entertaining. And he always had insightful answers without having to gloss over area lacking knowledge. I would take all day training from Brent. I can’t say enough good about his presentation. Top rate!

The humor is what makes me a Purple Cow: I try to do something wildly different than the rest of the sessions. Like Seth Godin writes in that book, it generates raving fans – people are either gonna love you, or hate you. That’s the reaction you want – you don’t wanna be cheese pizza, where everybody is kinda “meh” and just shuffles out of your session without remembering your name or what you do.

When you build your own conference sessions, bring you: bring your personality and your excitement to it. If you can’t be excited about the topic, why bother?

Update: here are other presenters sharing their feedback:

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2018 Black Friday Sale

Building the 2018 Black Friday Sale at BrentOzar.com

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For last year’s Black Friday sale, I set a goal of $500K in sales, then did a ton of prep work:

  • Set up a new training class lineup with labs
  • Added a new Live Class Season Pass so folks could attend my classes all year long
  • Added a handful of guest instructor courses
  • Wrote a multi-day email launch sequence
  • To handle the doorbuster deal load, upgraded our web site hosting at WPengine to a $6k/mo plan

It paid off with a big sales jump: $440K, well above 2016’s $181K but still shy of my ambitious goal.

Later, after the sale finished, we ended up making a couple of other big changes: we stopped selling to the EU, and we stopped selling the recorded videos separately, instead bundling them into SQL ConstantCare™.

What worked and what didn’t

The email launch sequence worked great. We had a lot of reader engagement, and it drove a lot of interest in the new classes without a significant amount of unsubscribers.

The Live Class Season Pass was a success. Students really liked the ability to spend one set amount and then repeatedly take different classes. I hadn’t thought of this, but several students said they picked up so much more details the second time around because they’d been overwhelmed the first time. As an instructor, I love this because I got to know some of the students over the year, and could see the students getting better at the labs over time. I really enjoyed building the community.

Customers really wanna buy the videos separately. I hoped that putting all the videos inside SQL ConstantCare® would simplify the buying process, and people would just pay for our one subscription process and be done with it. No go, though: there remains a good audience of people who want to just buy one specific training video, and are scared off by online services or software. (It’s also a gateway drug, so to speak – people start with one small video, and then collect more if they liked the first one.)

Guest instructor classes worked well. Readers are willing to buy courses from folks they haven’t seen present before.

People actually use Google Pay & Apple Pay, but not Bitcoin. We use Stripe for online payments, and they adopted these payment methods pretty quickly. Around 10% of checkouts used Google Pay or Apple Pay, but nobody ever used Bitcoin for a course. When Stripe removed support for it, it didn’t bother me at all.

The midnight doorbusters were a disaster (again.) For the second year in a row, WPengine’s server choices weren’t able to handle the load, despite giving them a blank check to pick the hardware. I did a post-mortem meeting with them, and they were really good about making it right. I have no bad feelings toward WPengine, and indeed, we’re still hosting with them today. I just wouldn’t recommend them for radical scale changes in short bursts, even with advance notice.

2018 Black Friday Sale

What we’re doing differently this year

No more doorbusters. (sigh) They were a fun experiment years ago when we were at lower audience levels, but today, ah, the curse and blessing of a larger audience.

This year, we’re just going to launch all the sales on November 1st and run them all month.

It’s funny because as a database & web app guy, I know full well that if I cleared my calendar and hired a resource, it’s a solvable problem. However, the really low revenue of doorbusters means I would lose money on that, and there are limits to what I’ll do for fun. I can see revisiting this in the future when we hire a site reliability engineer to manage our infrastructure ourselves, but we’re at least two years away from that.

We’re adding payment via check/invoice PO. In the past, I turned that off during Black Friday because we didn’t want people claiming one of the limited seats, and then not paying, thereby depriving somebody else of a seat. However, we got a lot of feedback from folks who said their company wanted to buy, but they couldn’t use a credit card, and could instead FedEx a check.

Taking payments is a little more work for us, but not terrible. We use EarthClassMail.com to receive our mail, scan it, and automatically deposit checks. Erika just has to connect the dots between which checks are for which orders. We’re drawing the line at filling out company forms to become a new vendor, though.

We’re selling self-paced recorded videos individually again. The people have spoken, and they said “Shut up and take my money.” Done. I started setting this up about a month ago, and people started buying them immediately without any promotion. That was kinda wild.

We’re adding a new Team Membership. WooCommerce brought out a Teams for Memberships plugin, and we’d had a few companies buy Live Class Season Passes for several of their team members, so I thought, “Why not?”

Let’s see if we can cross the $500K mark this time. Big money, no whammies….

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Vanquest EDCM-SLIM 2.0

What’s In My Bag, 2018 Edition

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I alternate between a few different backpacks depending on trip length, so I keep the core of my electronic gear in an organizer pouch. I can just toss this into whatever bag I want to take:

Vanquest EDCM-SLIM 2.0

Vanquest EDCM-SLIM 2.0

It’s a Vanquest EDCM-SLIM 2.0 8″ x 6″ organizer pouch with lots of webbing. Wild overkill for a geek bag. Vanquest makes lots of tactical, medical, and first aid organizers with Molle straps for military folks. I was really torn between this and their FTIM 5×7, but went with the EDCM after reading a couple of reviews that said the dual-zipper format of the FTIM was a little finicky to open.

Most of the gear inside is pretty self-explanatory, but a few links to my favorite stuff:

AmazonBasics 4″ USB-to-Lightning cable – I like short cables. I wish they made a USB-C version of this, but none yet.

Sandisk USB-C & USB flash drive – nice form factor with both USB-C and USB-A ends so you can pop it into a variety of computers.

Logitech Spotlight remote – because the drivers let you throw a spotlight on the monitor. Way, way better than a laser, especially in big rooms with multiple monitors.

Anker USB battery – old small cheap one just for emergencies. As soon as they make a small lipstick-sized one with USB-C, I’ll replace it. I have a much larger Anker PowerCore 20000 that I bring when carrying larger backpacks.

Not pictured, in the pockets: Airpods, snack bars, and single-serving packets of ibuprofen, Throat Coat tea, and lens wipes.

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MS The World floorplans

What It Costs to Live on a Cruise Ship

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MS The World floorplans

The World condo floor plan from one of the brochures

Years ago, I saw a documentary show about The World, a condo cruise ship. People with at least $10M net worth could buy a home aboard, and then see the literal world go by their windows.

When it first launched, it was both a condo and a regular cruise ship, offering nightly rentals for non-owners. The wealthy residents got understandably tired of cruise ship visitors, then bought the whole ship outright, kicking out the management company and running it themselves. These days, the ship is pretty private: CruiseMapper has old information, the CruiseCritic forum about The World doesn’t get a lot of chatter, and you can spy on its current location.

I was curious – what are residences going for these days?

The World’s web site, AboardTheWorld.com, is a little vague about pricing details, but buried deep in the site are a bunch of PDF brochures for various residences that have been for sale over the last couple of years. Each brochure has photos, floor plans, and pricing.

Bedrooms Sq feet Price Annual Fees Brochure
1 290 $1,465,000 $132,222 633
1 330 $1,650,000 $144,098 625
1 337 $1,710,000 $146,174 605
1 635 $3,150,000 $218,306 635
1 674 $3,100,000 $246,206 603
1 674 $3,350,000 $246,206 621
1 674 $2,900,000 $246,206 638/640
2 1,011 $4,200,000 $349,356 636/638/640
2 1,011 $4,035,000 $349,356 609
2 1,106 $3,900,000 $377,552 1023
2 1,106 $3,700,000 $377,552 1109
2 1,391 $4,600,000 $462,152 740
2 1,391 $4,650,000 $462,152 806
2 1,391 $2,500,000 (50% share) $231,076 (50%) 1010
2 1,391 $2,200,000 (50% share) $231,076 (50%) 1007
3 1,758 $8,150,000 $571,088 805
2 + den 1,956 $7,890,000 $632,976 1014
3 1,956 $6,800,000 $632,976 914
3 1,956 $6,900,000 $632,976 732
3 3,086 $10,500,000 $899,092 801
3 3,242 $10,000,000 $1,014,704 1000

Those annual fees might seem steep, but remember that they include the ship’s fuel, maintenance, staff, supplies, permits, and a food & beverage credit allowance. (The World’s restaurants aren’t like an all-you-can-eat buffet on a regular cruise ship: you actually have to pay, just like regular restaurants.)

Okay, yeah, the fees are steep.

If you take the annual fees, and divide them by 52, you’ll see that you could actually go on cruises for just the price of the annual fee. Granted, the public cruise ships would be loaded with screaming Spring Breakers, and constantly going to the same destinations over and over, but…at least you’d be able to pick the destinations you want, when you want ’em, and only pay for the ship when you’re using it. (If that interests you, read the NYTimes’ story about retiring aboard a cruise ship.)

And if you think the purchase price is expensive, it gets worse: you’re not really buying it permanently. Ships have a finite lifetime, and eventually it’ll be scrapped – thus the initial condo purchases were 50-year leases.

What’s that? A little too rich for your blood? Yeah, me too – but good news! There’s a secret rental program – if you know somebody with a residence who can get you in, here are their nightly rental rates as of 2018:

<sigh> Guess I gotta keep working.

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How I Use a Mac but Work on SQL Server

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Kind of a convoluted title, I know, but I get questions like this every now and then:

Chris and I had a good conversation on Twitter, and I figured it’s time to post an updated version of how I work.

I have a “fake job” – I’m a consultant.

If you’re a full time employee somewhere, you probably manage the same servers every day. Your main applications probably consist of Outlook, SSMS, a team chat app, a monitoring tool, and a web browser, all open to the same stuff all day, just alt-tabbing around between different windows.

On the road in the Manchester airport

My job is a little different because:

  • I’m not the primary line of support for any SQL Servers
  • When I’m looking at SQL Server data, it’s through the lens of custom apps Richie wrote
  • I jump around to a different client every 3 days
  • A lot of my time is spent building & delivering training material

So there probably isn’t going to be a lot of actionable info in this post for you, but hey, y’all keep asking, so I’ll explain, hahaha.

My favorite thing: web apps.

Whenever practical, I try to use apps in a browser tab rather than a downloadable executable. Jeremiah Peschka really motivated me to try this – years ago, he really encouraged me to try GMail in a browser rather than Outlook or Apple Mail. I hated it at first, but now I adore it.

When I open Chrome, these tabs show up:

  • Email & calendar: GMail – try to learn one new keyboard shortcut a day, and you’ll be an unstoppable ninja in a month.
  • Tasks: RememberTheMilk.com – I still practice Inbox Zero with this approach. It involves a lot of replies that start with, “This sounds like a really interesting discussion, but I’m slammed right now, so here’s who you should talk to instead…”
  • Reading blogs: Feedly – and here are my subscriptions if you wanna follow along.
  • Amazon Music – even though I have a ton of music stored locally, I’ve been gravitating toward this because it’s included with Prime, and the web UI is pretty good.
  • Power BI – just last week, I was able to switch over from mainly using the Power BI Desktop in a Windows VM, up to the cloud-based version instead. I still have to open the desktop for editing the report I use a lot, but I can consume the data and give client advice via a browser instead. (I was really, really happy the day I pulled that off.)
  • WebEx – for client work. Our SQL Critical Care® is about mentoring, so we’re walking people through their own servers, showing them what to look at while we investigate the root cause together. We don’t get VPN access or anything like that, so it keeps the client work simple and fast.

And then I try to use web services for as much as possible, like Expensify, Quickbooks, etc. If my laptop bites the dust when I’m on the road, or if I need to get a few minutes of work in on vacation, then any web browser will get me most of the way there.

Web app not good enough?
Then a Mac OS X app.

Here’s my dock with my most common apps:

 

From left to right:

  • Finder – the Mac OS X equivalent of Windows Explorer.
  • Chrome
  • VMware Fusion – to run virtual machines. I do a lot of work in the cloud, but 2 local VMs get heavy use: SQL2017 to build & show demos, and SQL2019 for R&D work. In very rare cases where a client wants me to VPN into their environment, I’ll build a separate VM for each client to avoid VPN client hassles. (Why VMware and not Parallels? I just started with it because I used to be a VMware admin, and it works fine.)
  • PowerPoint & Excel – yeah, technically there are online equivalents of these, but I haven’t been satisfied with them, especially with the amount of training classes I teach.
  • TweetBot – whenever I hear people complaining about ads in their Twitter feed, or out-of-order tweets, or likes showing up, I just shake my head. Pay $10 and make that garbage go away. Plus, powerful filters & muting rules keep you blissfully ignorant of the rants.
  • Slack – although now that I think about it, I might be able to switch over to the web version of that now.
  • Remote Desktop – because a ton of my work is in the cloud, and the official Microsoft RDP client makes it easy to move files around.
  • Postico – like SSMS for PostgreSQL.
  • Textmate – my favorite text editor. I try to write my T-SQL queries from scratch here, without IntelliSense, just to see if I can, hahaha.
  • Github – for source control of the First Responder Kit, SQL ConstantCare®, internal apps
  • Download folder – shortcut because when you work in GMail, you end up downloading a lot of attachments and editing them locally, like signing PDFs.
  • Trash can – I have no idea why I left that icon in the dock, now that I see it.

No other choice? Windows VM.

I don’t dislike Windows – it’s totally fine – I just don’t want to open a VM if I don’t have to. These days, I only start a VM under 2 scenarios:

When I need to build or deliver SQL Server demos – I fire up a VM with SQL Server 2017 or 2019 running. My training classes generally involve performance tuning servers, indexes, and queries. In theory, I could run SQL Server in a Docker container and run queries in Azure Data Studio. In practice, ADS’s execution plan experience isn’t quite there yet, and I want the students to see the same user interface they’re used to using every day (SSMS).

When I need to edit Power BI reports – despite thousands of votes, Microsoft doesn’t plan on bringing Power BI Desktop to the Mac. It’s by far and away the top-voted not-planned item, and if it hadn’t been shelved as not-planned, it’d still be on the leaderboard for the top requested features overall:

Closed as “works on my Windows machine”

So I have to fire up a Windows VM when I want to edit Power BI files.

This would be different if I had a different job.

If I was a remote DBA contractor, like if I had to regularly jump in and fix broken Agent jobs, then I’d probably have a lot more VMs. I’d still aim for one VM per client just because VPN software can be so terrible. I wouldn’t want one client’s VPN update to hose someone else’s connection.

If I was a full time DBA for a company with only a handful of production servers, or a development DBA doing performance tuning work on just a handful of applications,  I’d still have a Mac as my primary desktop, but I’d use a jump box to run SSMS and SentryOne Plan Explorer.

If I was a full time DBA with dozens or hundreds of SQL Servers, I’d probably switch back to Windows and focus on automating my work with PowerShell.

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Building an Incoming Flights Display

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We live on the flight path to San Diego airport, and we like watching planes as they go by.

One afternoon, we stumbled into the bar Nolita Hall. It’s also on the flight path, and they have skylights so you can watch the planes as they fly overhead. They have a big split-flap display behind the bar, and the bottom 3 lines show the next incoming flight:

We talked to the staff and found out that their custom split-flap display was made by Oat Foundry. There’s a similar consumer equivalent called Vestaboard, but two little problems with that: it’s a couple thousand bucks, and it’s not coming out until fall 2019.

Yeah, so, no.

So we built a low-budget version instead.

FlightAware.com is a flight monitoring site with a really simple API. You can call the AirportBoards method, filter for a specific airport and either inbound or departing flights, and get back a lot of data about the next 15 flights. At the $25/mo tier, you can call it about every 20 minutes, and at the $50/mo tier, about every 3 minutes. (You could also get fancy and do different refresh rates depending on the time of day.)

To mimic Oat Foundry’s beautiful split-flap display, I found Flapper, a JQuery plugin.

My days of web development are over, so once I put the list of tools together, I hired David R. on Upwork to build a PHP page that would call FlightAware’s API, then show the next 3 incoming flights with Flapper.

This is just a picture – click on it to see the actual animation:

Chucka-chucka-chucka sound not included (yet)

Next, to display it on the wall, I got a SmartIdea projector – a phone-sized device with Android 7 (Nougat) and WiFi so I could just open a web browser and let the page refresh itself. The title says it’s 1080p, but it’s only 480p – it’s just that it accepts 1080p inputs if you wanted to get ambitious. It runs off a 5W USB power supply, and has a built-in tripod socket at the bottom. Also has automatic keystone correction, which means it doesn’t have to be centered in front of the wall (or in our case, ceiling) where you want to project.

Incoming flights projected on the ceiling

The SmartIdea projector isn’t bright, and our apartment has floor-to-ceiling windows. Fortunately, we usually leave the blinds closed behind the TV, and we wanted to project above the TV. It works well enough here, but the instant we open the blinds, the projector’s display disappears. It just can’t compete with sunlight, especially when the projector and surface are more than several feet apart.

It’s great for this use though – just a subtle listing of flights on the ceiling:

Flight details

The projector also has a remote, and I’m so happy that the up/down buttons scroll Chrome too! So I can look down to see what flights are coming up later.

The projector has one serious drawback (apart from the lack of brightness): a slow CPU. The split-flap display animations look amazing in your desktop’s browser, but they’re dead slow on the projector when it’s animating 15 flights on a page. It takes a good 30-40 seconds for it to finish flapping through the alphabet! I gotta tweak those settings.

For the code, here’s the incoming-flights Github repo.

What I’d like to add in vNext

San Diego is busy – really busy, as you can see in FlightAware’s live map of arrivals and departures. It’s the busiest single-runway airport in the US, which means all flights are coming in on the exact same approach path all day. During peak times, we see a plane go by our windows every 2 minutes.

Plus, air traffic controllers frequently reroute planes around, having them do a quick circle to get into a different spot of the lineup. You can’t have a big, heavy jumbo jet flying right up the tail of a tiny Cessna, running over it.

The approach lineup shuffles around from time to time – which means if we’re calling FlightAware’s API every 10 minutes, it can get out of date. The answer isn’t to just blindly call their API more frequently, because:

  • Bronze API: $25/mo for 2,500 API calls
    (about 3 per hour, or every 20 minutes)
  • Silver API: $100/mo for 20,000 API calls
    (about 27 per hour, or every 2 minutes)

I’d really rather not pay $100/mo for this. (Especially when Erika points out, “We could just have it show the FlightAware KSAN page for free,” but that doesn’t look nearly as cool.)

So in vNext, I want to disconnect the API calls from the page refreshes. It’ll probably look like a Lambda function that runs every minute, and decides whether to call the FlightAware API. I don’t want call it from sunset to sunrise, for example, and I wanna call it less often when it’s outside of our peak viewing hours, or when there’s low traffic. Then, write the FlightAware API response to DynamoDB (or maybe ElastiCache.)

That way, the web page can refresh every minute, and just fetch the most recent response from DynamoDB without hitting the expensive FlightAware API every time. (Pricing-wise, all of that would fit into AWS’s free tier, which is nice – so my only cost is the labor of writing the code, and the FlightAware $25/mo price.)

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My Home Office Setup, 2018

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We moved to San Diego and I refreshed my computer hardware, so it’s time for another update in my home office blog post series. Here’s what I’m using:

Home office 2018

Standing Desk: Xdesk Terra Pro – Expensive, but works wonderfully and is built to last. I love the 3 height presets, and I’ve got them set for sitting, standing, and standing on top of my Fluidstance balance board. (There’s also an Aeron chair out of frame – I wheel it around behind my desk when I’m not using it.)

Computer: Apple MacBook Pro 15″ (2018) – 6-core Intel Core i9, 32GB RAM, 2TB SSD, 4 pounds. CPU & storage advancements finally got the new MBP to the level where I could use it as my primary desktop. This new i9 is 15% faster on video exports than my old Mac Pro desktop. It sits on a Twelve South Curve stand.

Display: BenQ 32″ – I’ve had one since 2014, and it still works great, so I can’t bring myself to replace it. Mine is an older 2560×1440 version, but I’ve linked to its replacement, a 4K one that does 3840×2160. I only use one display – the laptop stays open only because I need a second monitor when I’m doing live webcasts. When I’m showing the students a PowerPoint deck, I like broadcasting a second smaller (like 1080p) monitor, and using my main monitor for the PowerPoint presenter view and the attendees’ Slack channel.

Around the back of the laptop:

Behind the Music

Dock: CalDigit TS3 Plus – the MacBook Pro plugs into here with a USB-C cable, and then my video, audio, Ethernet, and USB stuff plug into the CalDigit. The dock is supposed to also be able to charge the laptop at the same time, but I ran into problems with that: whenever the laptop went to sleep, the dock wouldn’t work again normally until it was unplugged from power and then plugged back in. I ended up using a separate USB-C power cable.

Audio input: Focusrite Scarlett 2i2 – inputs for pro-grade XLR microphones, output to USB. My headphones are plugged into the Scarlett, and the Scarlett also outputs a monitor feed into the headphones. This means I hear everything: my own outgoing audio (to check my levels), plus the incoming audio from other co-presenters. I use B&W P5 headphones because they’re really comfortable for extended periods, but I only use them for presenting, not music.

Microphone: Electro Voice RE-20 on a Rode PSA1 Stand – I chose this after reading Marco Arment’s microphone comparison. I’d tried a few expensive shotgun microphones mounted on stands outside of the audience’s view, and I was just never happy with the sound results. Marco writes that the RE-20 is “very forgiving of amateur mic technique,” and wow, has that been right for me. I don’t need a pop filter, and it hardly picks up on the echos in my concrete & glass rooms. I do have to stay right on top of the microphone, though.

With the microphone stand mounted on the desk, and the webcam mounted on top of the monitor, it means I don’t have to adjust anything when I raise or lower the standing desk. Everything moves along with me. The studio lights stay in one position, but they cover so much area that it doesn’t really matter.

Speakers: Audioengine A2+ – No bass whatsoever, but that’s fine for high rise life.

Input devices: Apple Keyboard and Trackpad – Apple’s input devices are polarizing: either you love huge glass trackpads, or you hate them.

Half-hour hourglass: Esington Glass – When I’m working on something, it’s easy to lose myself in focus. I’ll start digging into a client’s indexes, and next thing you know, 4 hours has gone by and I haven’t even looked at their queries. This helps me divide time in a non-intrusive way. As I’m working, I’ll glance over at the hourglass to see if I’ve run out of time on that task yet. I like this better than setting an alarm because those can be intrusive, popping in when you’re not quite at a break point. This lets me check myself at more natural break points. Plus I like having something analog on my desk.

Video and lighting setup

Another change here this year: I’ve switched from a pair of big light box diffusers to a single ring light:

One ring to light them all

Light: Neewer LED Ring Light – video bloggers rave about these for their flattering light. I didn’t really care about that – I just wanted something more compact than my old light box setup because my San Diego home office is much smaller than my Chicago one. (I have the 18″ kit, but I linked to the 12″ kit – it makes more sense for most folks.) It’s plugged into a WeMo smart plug so I can turn it on/off with Siri.

Webcam: Logitech Brio 4K – the gold standard right now. There is a huge difference between this webcam and the rest of ’em out there. The webcam is mounted in the middle of the ring light, not on top of the monitor – but for me, that’s not about making the picture look good. It’s because monitor-mounted webcams shake a little when I’m typing, leaning up against the desk. I want the picture to be rock-solid steady, so mounting the webcam on the lighting tripod does the trick. It does mean I have to raise/lower the tripod separately whenever I raise/lower the desk, though.

Here’s what it looks like in the daytime:

Would you buy a used clustered index from this man?

And here’s a webcam shot from the wee hours of the morning, with only the ring light on, and no light coming in from outside:

Logitech Brio with ring light only

The results were better with the two light boxes because they filled the room more evenly, leaving no dark shadows at the bottom right. Made it look like it was normal daylight even when I was up at 3AM. I’m fine with that tradeoff to have more space in my office though.

(No, my desk isn’t centered on the concrete, and I haven’t decided whether that bothers me enough to fix or not, hahaha. I like this desk position because it leaves me enough room in my office for a lounge chair next to the windows.)

Under the desk

I’ve mounted a few things under the desk to keep things nice and clean up above:

Yes, yes, I’ll clean up the cables later

RAID array: Blackmagic Multidock – Thunderbolt array with 4 1TB SSDs in a RAID 0 array. I use these for temporary VMs and encoding/uploading training videos. I’ve had a lot of consumer-grade external arrays over the years that kept mysteriously dropping offline under heavy load, and I finally said screw it, lemme get something seriously studio-grade. It’s wonderful and silent.

Audio gain: Cloudlifter CL-1 – basically, it amplifies microphones. The microphone plugs into this, and then this plugs into the Focusrite. The Focusrite provides electric power, and the Cloudlifter uses that electricity to amplify the signals of the Electro Voice.

I still have my old Mac Pro mounted under the desk – need to unmount that this week and eBay it.

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A Day in the Life of Brent Ozar: July 23, 2018 #SQLCareer

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Steve Jones asked data professionals to cover four days in our lives, so I blogged about a normal non-client-facing day, and then an unproductive day.

Today is different: I’m client-facing. We specialize in a 3-day SQL Critical Care:

  • Day 1 – we meet with the client to dig through their SQL Server together while we ask them questions about their database, indexes, queries, designs, RPO/RTO goals, hardware, and more.
  • Day 2 – we split up. The client goes back to doing their thing, and we write the findings for them. (You can see examples of the findings on that page above.)
  • Day 3 – we meet again to deliver the findings, which are a mix of consulting and training. We tell you the fastest way to relief for the pains your SQL Server is facing, and make sure you’re confident in moving forward. (Sometimes clients hire us to fix the problems directly, too, but ideally we’d rather show you how to fix the pain permanently rather than get hooked on expensive pain relief narcotics consulting.)

Today is day 1. Let’s make the magic happen.

6:00AM-6:30 – Emails. Small catch-up stuff.

6:30-7:30 – Reading and learning. Not a lot of RSS stuff from overnight (no surprise, since it’s Monday morning) but Hacker News has a really interesting discussion: The Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper. Forget the article and the inflammatory title – the comments are just interesting to read because there’s such a wide spectrum of personalities in the IT community. Answered a DBA.se question about reading the MySQL transaction log. Happy to see the photos coming in from the Chicago-Mac race, thinking back to when I did it. Saddened to read of a sailor who fell overboard and went missing, and his life vest didn’t inflate. That race is no joke.

7:30-8:00 – Breakfast. Coffee and yogurt. While eating, drool over a cocaine-tastic 1986 911.

8:00-8:15 – Email Richie. He was out last week, so I catch him up to speed on the Github issues I filed over the last week. We have 117 open issues at the moment with a variety of strategic and tactical stuff, pull requests, etc., and I’m sure he’s got a ton of notification emails, so I wanted to help prioritize stuff.

8:15-8:45 – Review client DMV data. Clients run an app that sends us an Excel spreadsheet with data from sp_Blitz, sp_BlitzCache, sp_BlitzIndex, etc. sliced and diced a few different ways – like their plan cache sorted by different metrics – plus a lot of their query plans. I spent some time with it last week, but I want to refresh my memory.

9:00-10:00 – Call starts, talk strategy. We talk about their pain points – the most important issues they want solved during the engagement – and I talk about a few big-picture challenges. For example, this client has a ~10TB database, and in the event that someone has an “oops” query like dropping a table, they want to be able to recover within 1 minute of data loss in under 1 hour of downtime.

10:15-12:00 – Analyzing query memory grants and query plans. We were called in for unpredictable, random performance slowdowns. Thanks to my research into the client’s data ahead of time, I know someone’s running queries that get a really big memory grant, but then don’t use it, and finish quickly. We run sp_BlitzCache @SortOrder = ‘memory grant’ and catch a few – including this gem where SQL Server’s cardinality estimation has gone haywire:

Microsoft, would it kill you to use commas

To be clear, it’s not really a bad query: SQL Server’s just making some really questionable guesses about how many rows will come back. In actuality, only a couple hundred thousand rows come back. We talk about the source of those queries, how to tune them, and whether we can offload them to a different server. The server’s other bottleneck is queries that go parallel to burn CPU power, so we start with sp_BlitzCache @SortOrder = ‘cpu’ and walk through some of the top offenders.

12:00-1:00 – Lunch break. Erika made chicken chili.

1:00-2:00 – Analyze VMware configuration & performance. There are multiple ways you can fix a CPU bottleneck, and the goal of the SQL Critical Care® is to find the right one for a given client. This VM’s wide NUMA configuration made things tough for VMware’s CPU scheduling, and I wanted to find out why it was built that way, and if the team was open to changing it. To learn more about this topic, check out Frank Denneman’s excellent NUMA Deep Dive series.

2:15-3:00 – Test trace flag 2335 behavior. The current production server was running this trace flag, and nobody knew why. The resulting query plans showed some really odd memory grants. We took one of the queries, then took it to a QA server where we could flip this trace flag on & off. The devil’s always in the details on that kind of thing. I’ve got the data I need to build their findings, so I bid them adieu.

After client calls finish, I need to walk away from the data for a while before I start assembling findings. I find that if I just start writing up their deliverables right away, I can’t see the forest for the trees. I do one final set of notes in the client’s file, then close it all down for the day.

3:00-3:30 – Emails & reading. I start by getting back to inbox zero, then check Feedly for updated blog posts.

3:30-4:00 – Testing ConstantCare.exe. Richie being the development machine that he is, he’s already implemented a few of my notes from this morning, and needs me to test an updated build in preparation for an early access build for clients.

And I’m out! Very productive day. Tomorrow I’ll work on their findings, and then deliver ’em on Wednesday. Thursday & Friday, I’m proctoring Drew Furgiuele’s PowerShell class while updating my slides for my upcoming Mastering Server Tuning class. Next week, I’ll be out of the office as we move to San Diego.

I do have a few other styles of days, and I’ll blog a couple of those in August:

  • Mentoring days – when I analyze SQL ConstantCare® client data in Power BI and send them advice emails
  • Onsite days – when I fly to a client’s office, assess their servers, and then teach training classes relevant to the problems they’re facing
  • Teaching days – when I host a class (but that one doesn’t lend itself well to the blogging)
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A Very Unproductive Day in the Life of Brent Ozar: July 18, 2018 #SQLCareer

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Yesterday, I blogged what I did in a random work day per Steve Jones’ suggestion. And yesterday, I said I’d blog today as well because it was going to be a different schedule.

You shouldn’t read this. It’s useless.

It’s useless because as I look back on it, I didn’t accomplish much of anything on Wednesday, July 18th. That’s not rare – there are plenty of days where I feel like I don’t make enough progress. Thing is, Steve wanted us to share the tools we’re using and what problems we’re solving, and this post is pretty well devoid of that information because I didn’t solve problems yesterday.

I didn’t know that when I started the day, obviously.

I was going to delete this, but screw it – it’s already written, so presented for your amusement: a day when I don’t solve any big valuable problems, just tread productivity water:

4:15AM-4:30 – Emails. A quick round of emails before showering and going out for coffee.

5:15-6:00 – Reading blogs. Not a lot of new stuff posted yesterday. I answer a DBA.StackExchange.com question about setting up a readable replica and one about cross-database queries in Azure SQL DB. I refresh the tracking page for my new MacBook Pro – it’s made it from Shanghai to Chicago. C’mon, little buddy. (Sitting)

6:00-7:30 – Learning about Lambda event sources and limits. Looking at my calendar, today is an appointment-free focus day that I’ve blocked out for design work on SQL ConstantCare®’s index and query recommendations. With that in mind, I wanna think about how we do that processing. So far, most of the data is hosted in AWS Aurora PostgreSQL, and the application code runs in AWS Lambda using the Serverless framework. However, as we start to analyze query plans, I don’t want those big XML plans stored in a relational database, nor do I want the advice stored there – the relational database is just too much of a bottleneck if we wanna process a lot of plans fast. To scale the new process, could we:

  • Store each incoming execution plan as a file in S3
  • Have the new file trigger an AWS Lambda function to analyze that plan and make recommendations (and will the function finish in time, given the 300-second limit per function)
  • Store the recommendations somewhere other than a database (say, in DynamoDB or in another S3 file)

To pull that off, I need to think about whether the plan analysis functions will need any data from the database (like data about the client’s server, or rule configuration data). I don’t wanna do the architecture design, mind you – Richie’s the architect here – but I just wanna learn enough to have a good discussion with him about how we do it. I finish up my learning by searching for related terms, plus phrases like “problem” or “bug” to see issues people are running into, like this one.

7:30-8:00 – Emails. A sales prospect from yesterday signed their contract, so did some logistics with that. A training class student sent in DMV data about their SQL Server, so analyzed their plan cache and explained the issue they’re facing. FedEx emails to say my new laptop is on the truck for delivery by 10:30AM today. Woohoo!

8:00-8:30 – Break. Make a pot of coffee, down a yogurt, start the laundry.

8:30-9:00 – Emails. More sales inquiries, and an attendee question from my user group presentation last night.

9:00-10:00- Postgres query writing. In our development environment, Richie’s already got ConstantCare.exe sending in index and query plan data. I open up Postico – it’s a Postgres client for the Mac, like the equivalent of SSMS – and start spelunking around in the tables.

SQL Server DMVs stored in Postgres

This takes a second to wrap your head around, but:

  • ConstantCare.exe runs on the clients’ machines
  • It queries the clients’ SQL Servers, getting data from DMVs
  • ConstantCare.exe exports that data to JSON format, and uploads it to the cloud
  • In the cloud, AWS Lambda functions import those JSON files, and insert them into a database (AWS Aurora Postgres)

So I’m querying SQL Server DMVs, but in Postgres, and with ever-so-slightly different names (note the underscores in tables rather than sys.dm_db_index_usage_stats. At first glance, you might think, “Ah, so he’s just editing sp_BlitzIndex so it works off these new table names!” But no, we’re starting again from scratch up in the cloud because up here, we have the benefit of historical data.

For example, the first easy query I start with is warning folks when they have a heap with forwarded fetches, something sp_BlitzIndex already alerts you about. However, in the cloud, I wanna compare today’s forwarded fetches to yesterday’s. You might have forwarded fetches reported on a table that isn’t in active use anymore, but SQL Server is still reporting forwarded fetches since startup. No sense in pestering them about something that isn’t a problem.

10:00-10:30 – Breakfast, and the new laptop arrives. Erika’s up, makes eggs. It takes a special relationship to be able to live together, work together from home, and even work for the same company. We’re pretty much around each other 24/7, and it works. If she passes away before I do, I’m gonna be single for the rest of my life.

Unpack the new laptop, put on the new protective case, boot it up, and point it to my Time Machine backups on the network. Apple makes it delightfully easy to buy a new machine. (We’ll see how the Core i9 throttling issue goes, although I rarely run my laptop at 100% CPU for 20-30 minutes as shown in the video.)

10:30-11:00 – Communication. I tweet a photo of the new laptop, which leads to some discussions on Twitter and LinkedIn, and then did some emails.

11:00-11:45 – Office Hours podcast. Every Wednesday, we get together in GoToWebinar, take live questions, and fumble our way through answers. This podcast would take a lot more out of my calendar were it not for the wizardry of DigitalFreedomProductions.com. They record it, upload it to our YouTube channel, make a podcast out of it, transcribe the audio, and create a blog post with the transcription.

11:45-12:15 – Emails. Customer emails, contract negotiation with a prospect.

12:15-1:30 – Lunch. Erika and I head to Wishbone where we both get the same thing every single time: blackened chicken with sides of spinach and red beans (no rice.) We started doing Weight Watchers quite a while back, and I’ve just about hit my target weight (185), but that food is good enough (and low points enough) that I’d eat it even if I wasn’t watching my delicate figure.

1:30-2:00 – Erik’s new book arrives. All productivity stops. So much for this being a focus day.

Great Book, Erik!

2:00-3:30 – Back to Postgres query writing. Building my first proof-of-concept for the rebuild-your-heaps script. This is the first index analysis script we’ve done in Postgres, and the first one is always the hardest, putting together the right joins between the right tables, comparing to yesterday’s forwarded fetches, and looking for edge cases that would break it. I’m by no means done – I’ll need to keep going on this tomorrow, but once I’ve got the first index analysis script done, the next one will be a lot easier.

3:30-4:00 – Emails. Signing an NDA for a prospective client, answering a few mentoring questions.

4:00PM – Done. Calling it a day. Not unusual for me – I tend to get a lot done in the mornings, and then coast to a stop in the afternoons. I didn’t make as much progress as I’d like today, but that’s life. Thankfully, I have the next 2 days on my calendar blocked out for the same task, and I’ll likely do better tomorrow. I won’t blog my day again tomorrow though – I’ll hold off for a few days until next week when I’m working with a client. That’ll show a different kind of work day.

5:40-5:45 – Update SQLServerUpdates.com. I get notified that Microsoft published 2017 CU9, so hop into the home office to update the site.

So there you have it. I have no idea what you’ll think about that day, but if you enjoyed this (or if you think *I* work a lot), read Jen Stirrup’s Tuesday.

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