Blog Posts

Being The Stig at SQLBits

March 7, 2015

For this year’s SQLBits costume party, I went as The Stig – Top Gear’s anonymous superhero race car driver: I only told a few people ahead of time, and I kept the helmet on for quite a while. I walked around slowly, mimicking The Stig’s poses and movements. I had a ridiculously good time, and I kept laughing while people kept walking up to me and taking pictures. Thankfully you can’t see how hard I’m smiling or laughing: Me and the Stig #SQLBits pic.twitter.com/6lKVTgUJlb — Rob Sewell (@sqldbawithbeard) March 6, 2015 #supermario love #topgear 🙂 #sqlbits pic.twitter.com/iKUBeu55Wo — Oliver Engels (@oengels)…

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Epic Life Quest: Level 5 Achieved

March 3, 2015

life quest, personal

Inspired by Steve Kamb’s Epic Quest, I’ve been working through my own Epic Life Quest since 2012. I’ve set up a list of future achievements, and whenever I cross off five of them, I advance one level. Here’s what I’ve unlocked in about the last year: Level 5: Completed February 2015 Me in Tulum, 2014 Marry Erika – After over a decade together, she finally caved in and let me put a ring on her finger. Completed in October 2014 in a drive-through chapel in Las Vegas. Take Erika back to Tulum, Mexico – we had the time of our lives here,…

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The Logistics and Economics of Speaking in Europe

February 24, 2015

presenting, travel

I’m heading out on a tour through Europe to speak at SQLRally Nordic and SQLBits London. Here’s what the schedule looks like: Weds, Feb 25 – fly out of Chicago to Frankfurt. Thurs – fly from Frankfort to Copenhagen. Fri-Sun – enjoy a weekend in Copenhagen and adjust to the jet lag. Mon – teach an all-day pre-conference class at SQLRally Nordic. Tues – teach a one-hour conference session. Weds AM – fly from Copenhagen to London, get to the conference hotel on the other side of town. Thursday – teach an all-day pre-conference class at SQLBits. Friday – teach a one-hour…

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When Good Presentation Demos Go Bad

February 17, 2015

presenting, training

Sooner or later, despite your best efforts to rehearse, one of your demos will fail. You’re going to try to fix it really quickly without the audience noticing. It won’t work because the entire audience is at least vaguely familiar with the subject material. Your entire delivery will instantly come unglued. Your posture will change, your voice will get quieter. Watch the body language of the presenter on the right: The presenter clearly feels like he’s lost control of the demo – and the crowd – when in reality, he’s got an amazing opportunity. Don’t get me wrong, he’s under a…

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The Best Presentations are Based on Pain

February 10, 2015

consulting, presenting, training

Trying to figure out what to submit for 2015 conference abstracts? Over and over, I see people describing their session in terms of how awesome it’ll be, or what a great time the attendee will have, or how the presenter is really excited about the topic. Nobody cares. Seriously. Put the exclamation points down. tl;dr – here’s the winning formula: Identify the pain that’s driving an attendee crazy. Build the simplest, fastest, cheapest relief for that pain. Describe the pain and the relief in as few words as possible. It’s that simple. But this is one of my favorite subjects, so I’ll…

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Questions You Should Ask Before You Take a Consulting Job

February 3, 2015

consulting

Because my friends and I run a kinda fun, funky consulting company, I hear from a lot of frustrated consultants that want to leave their positions and join our team. We’re not hiring at the moment, but the complaints from these consultants actually make for a good list of questions you should ask before you go to work as a consultant. You should ask the interviewers, your prospective manager, and then ask them to let you talk to a couple of your prospective employees in private – and ask them all the same questions. See if the answers all match…

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SQL Server DBAs: Today, Let’s Thank Adam Machanic.

January 27, 2015

community, givingback, sp_WhoIsActive, thanks

Adam Machanic, Foodie Adam wrote sp_WhoIsActive, a troubleshooting tool used by tens of thousands of DBAs all over the world. It’s incredibly powerful, it’s saved my butt countless times, and I use it every single week. He gives it away for free to help you. He hasn’t updated it in years – because he doesn’t need to. It’s that good. He co-founded and still runs SQLblog.com. He hosts a blogging platform where a lot of really smart SQL Server people share a lot of really good articles for free. Here, Adam’s a force multiplier – he makes it easier for people to teach others.…

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SQLBits London Agenda Announced

January 20, 2015

conference, drhorrible, sqlbits

The next SQLBits agenda is out, and I’m particularly excited about one session in particular: Cool Story, Bro: The DBAreactions Guide to SQL Server 2014 You’re hearing a lot about the new features in SQL Server, but you’re not hearing a lot about the drawbacks. Ever wonder why? Join Brent Ozar, the guy behind DBAreactions.com, for a sarcastic, funny look at SQL Server 2014’s features, bugs, and gotchas. You’ll learn why Brent rarely deploys Hekaton, clustered columnstore indexes, Buffer Pool Extensions, Azure backups and secondaries, and even AlwaysOn Availability Groups. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and most importantly, you’ll learn real lessons…

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Inbound Marketing: Selling With Your Personality & Blogging

January 13, 2015

business, consulting, marketing, sales

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I bet you hate salespeople. Yeah, for the most part, me too. Bad news: if you start consulting, you’re gonna have to sell your time. You have to figure out how to talk people into signing a contract that says, “We’re going to do ___ for you, and you’re going to pay us $___.” Both of those blanks are completely up for negotiation, and frankly, your customers are in a better negotiating position than you. Would you buy a slightly used consultant from this man? Good news: if you put some work into your company from the start, the sales process doesn’t…

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Vacation in Mexico

January 6, 2015

personal

Public Service Announcement: your company gives you vacation time for a reason. Tulum beach at sunset Watching Christmas Dinner Tulum ruins Dinnertime at Chimiko’s Siesta on the beach Ernie flying home Remember who you really work for. Schedule your 2015 vacations now.

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Blog Posts

Hi. I’m Brent.