I’m not talking about a vacation. Yes, you need to take vacations, but this is different.
Every now and then, you need to step back and ask yourself:
- Do I like what I’m doing?
- Do I like where I’m doing it?
- Do I like the exchange of benefits for my work?
Every quarter for over ten years, I’ve gone to a coffee shop or bar and spent the day thinking through the above questions, my Getting Things Done 50k foot goals, and my Epic Life Quest. The rule: no network connectivity: just me and a notepad, thinking.
It usually takes me at least an hour just to unwind my brain because I keep remembering tactical things I need to do. A couple pages of the notebook end up filled with to-do items like “get the garage door opener fixed” or “build a better download form.” But after an hour or so, I find myself more relaxed and more willing to let my brain think big picture. I learn a lot about myself on those days.
But the real magic starts with multiple days.
A while back, I happened to take a cruise by myself. I sat on the back deck with my notepad, and had just one peaceful realization after another. I asked myself lots of tough questions, and with nothing breaking my thoughts, I was able to really get to know myself and my goals better.
So now, once a year, I try to take a personal retreat.
No, not just go get drunk on a cruise ship or go skiing somewhere – a retreat does have some unwinding aspects, but you’ve also got homework to do.
Your homework comes from the book “The Zen Founder Guide to Founder Retreats” by Sherry Walling, PhD (who cohosts the good ZenFounder Podcast.) It’s written for startup founders, but if I could go back and give it to 2004 Brent, I totally would, and he’d get value out of it.
Sherry gives you homework questions like:
- What energized me this year?
- What am I most proud of?
- What events or tasks seemed to suck the life out of me?
- What do I regret? What am I embarrassed of?
She asks further questions to help you drill down into those details, then helps you zoom out and ask bigger questions like whether you’re in the right job or relationship.
The book offers several different retreat strategies, and reading it, you might think you’re going to pick one when you start the retreat. I can’t – before the retreat, I’m just too absorbed in my day-to-day tactics to understand what’s going to happen on the retreat. However, by day 2 of the retreat, I’m able to look at her strategies list and say, “Now I get it. Now I see what question I really need to ask myself.”
How to prep for your first retreat
Here’s what your first year looks like:
- Quarter 1 – day to think: read the first several chapters of Getting Things Done and/or Time Management for Systems Administrators and decide whether that approach makes sense for your life. Start brain-dumping your tasks into some kind of task management system, whether it be RememberTheMilk, EverNote, or a text file.
- Quarter 2 – day to think: dump your brain into the task management system again. This is harder than it sounds when you’re first getting started because your brain really wants to hold on to a lot of baggage, and you may not have kept your task management system up-to-date.
- Quarter 3 – day to prep: reread GTD’s chapter on 50,000 foot goals, and think about what’s most important in your life. What’s most important to you? What would really bother you if you didn’t achieve it over the next 5-10 years?
- Quarter 4 – 3-day retreat: print out your GTD 50k foot goals, your current task list, and a copy of Zen Founder Guide to Founder Retreats. Buy a notebook and a pen. Go somewhere – it doesn’t have to be an amazing destination, just an easy place to drive to where you won’t be interrupted by day-to-day life demands. Check into a hotel, find a really comfy place to sit, and follow Sherry’s instructions.
It doesn’t have to be expensive – and indeed, if you’re really trying to focus on your career and your life goals, you shouldn’t be spending a lot of money. The value in a retreat like this isn’t about amazing selfies as you skydive from a plane – it’s about quiet introspection to help you start focusing on what matters to you, and how you’re gonna get out of the rut.
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Very interesting. I try to self-examine once a year, taking a few hours over a week or so and really think about whether I like what I’m doing, what alternatives there are, and if I should go in a different direction. Not as formal as yours, but I agree. Take time and think about your career, and really think about what’s important to you.
The hard part is knowing yourself. I find it really, really hard to stretch outside of what I do and think about all the facets of other opportunities, good and bad, and compare them with the current situation.
Also, “fix garage door opener”? Really? You every write this?
Yeah, I actually wrote that this week, hahaha. I’m in a condo building and my garage door opener stopped working. I’m pretty sure it just needs to be re-synced with the door, and the control panel is right there at the door, unprotected. It’s easier for me to just Google the instructions and re-sync it rather than wait for the maintenance guy to do it.
Totally agreed about the hard part being knowing yourself. I try to listen to podcasts & read blogs outside of my industry to go, “How are other people solving this problem? What about their solutions looks like fun to me? What parts would I not wanna do?” It’s hard to reverse engineer that.
Brent; everyone needs to be life coached by you 🙂
I’m just stoked that someone else called out “Time Management for System Administrators”. While it’s been about 10 yrs since I’ve read it, I always thought it was one of the best titles ever written. GTD is great too! Lately I’ve found a ton of value in the Full Focus Planner, my Rocketbook and a book called Scaling up. I could rant about business books and time management paradigms all day.
Thanks Brent for being you. My Reporting team, my associate and myself couldn’t be bigger fans. Thank you for being you.
Awww, thanks! And thanks for the book tips!
Thanks Brent for sharing your life experience like you do thru your blog.. I’ve been following your work for quite some years now and reading this helps me realize that every e-entrepreneur today faces similar challenges and has to make some life-changing decisions at some point.. Back in 2013 when I started to become known in my own user community, I’d never thought that one day I’d jump the boat and become the captain of my own business ‘ship’, though not really wanted to steer a cruising ship, but rather a sail boat. Building up my business relation solely based on my ‘brand’ I was known in the community was the logical move and I’m glad I did. Though I’m not really good in marketing to sell my brand, I realize also that you can’t be an island in the ocean and need to group with other like-minded people to grow and become successful. Having given to the community for over a decade started to pay off and though I’m much older than you (57), I’m still looking forward to some successful years in this business.
This career-planning retreat stuff remembers me that when I take off for a week or two visiting my parents in the Swiss mountains, then at the same time I can be away from the daily noise that keeps you from thinking about your future, as their is no time for this in our busy consulting schedule.. so you have to make space for it every once in a while.
Keep writing about entrepreneur life! it’s a great source of inspiration.
That’s great to hear, thanks!